On anger and authenticity

I am a bit angry today. And I was wondering what I could do for a healthy release. I thought journalling wouldn’t do as I think I would just get more upset by thinking about things. I think an apology is in order sometime soon, but I’ll have to gather my thoughts before that moment….

So then I wrote a few overdue emails and then thought, hmmm maybe now I can blog. So I’ll blog. The gym is another good option and one that I’ll get back into soon…been a few weeks 😛

OK so then I thought, well, if I am and I’m still angry, it will seep into the posts but then I thought well, I want my writing to be honest and if I’m mad then I’m mad.

This is NOT a rant btw :)

So here in public, I admit my anger to you…very low risk anyway as I doubt m/any people read this blog anymore….I abandoned it so can’t blame anyone else for doing the same…. 😛

And that leads me to thoughts on AUTHENTICITY. Nowadays I like to let my feelings flow. I have been exposed to A LOT of BOTTLED UP emotions in my life and I DON’T LIKE IT. I don’t want it and I will try NOT to do it….

Now it is oh so very interesting as well b/c as an adult, we are taught to be tactful and read our audiences and say what we think is right/proper/pleasing….But man oh man, does that lead to a headache sometimes.

I used to be upset when people were FRANK and HONEST. I didn’t like to hear bad news. I didn’t want to see the hard truths. I was kinda hiding and living in a polite bubble.

BUT THAT BUBBLE BURST. It erupted as I was confronted with the sadness and confusion that often accompanies SECRETS and undisclosed truths. This went on for YEARS!!!!!! Lies by omission, as one of my smart Brit pals called it. (Petey :P) Again and again, it made me MAD and I was disappointed and shocked with some of the stories I heard. Now I’d just rather hear the truth, even if it’s bad. I don’t care; just share please!

So I decided I wasn’t going to participate in it anymore. I’M OUT. So I became an overly sharing blurting out ‘loudmouth’ I think….

And then I learned to control it. Somewhat. Sort of. Well……..

My final take on it all is: JUST TELL THE TRUTH. BUT DO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY. TRUTH + LOVE = GOOD.

–Don’t just blurt it to be right or to win the argument.
–Don’t just scream it out.
–Do say what you’re thinking b/c if you don’t say it, your feelings will manifest themselves in other ways.
–Do take some time to think about what you want to say BEFORE you say it.
–Do make the peace.

So what do you think? Oui ou non? D’accord ou pas?

AUTHENTICITY. That’s what I want. What about you?

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